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OTAC TROJE DJECE NAPISAO PISMO MLAĐEM SEBI Dijelio savjete o uspješnom braku i kakav treba biti prema supruzi

Stvaranje braka uspješnim može biti teško, a kada postanete roditelji ta težine se udvostručuje.

OTAC TROJE DJECE NAPISAO PISMO MLAĐEM SEBI Dijelio savjete o uspješnom braku i kakav treba biti prema supruzi
FOTO: TEDGONDER/INSTAGRAM/SCREENSHOT

Tako je Ted Gonder, ponosni otac troje djece, odlučio dati savjete novim očevima i napisao dirljivo pismo svom 24-godišnjem sebi bez djece.

Kako je rekao Ted, ta objava je podsjetnik svim muževima da se trude dati sve od sebe kako bi bili bolji partneri i da budu svjesni koliko njihove supruge trebaju osjetiti njihovu podršku. Tedova objava je vrlo brzo privukla javnost te je dobio oko 71.000 lajkova i 58.000 ljudi je odlučilo podijeliti.

– Sada imam 29 godina i imam troje djece sa suprugom Franziskom koja ih je sve nosila i rodila ih kao profesionalac. Evo šta bih svom 24-godišnjaku bez djece rekao kako biti podržavajući partner tokom faze „postajanja roditeljima“ – napisao je Ted.

Ted je dalje ispričao kako je njegova žena dijete nosila u stomaku devet mjeseci u svakom trenutku i na svakom mjestu.

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My wife @franzilovesmondays with a brilliant dose of perspective, truth, and gratitude. ⠀⠀ “Lets talk #paternityleave – I have never felt so emotionally safe and protected than during this postpartum journey. Why? Because @tedgonder had the chance to take a 4-week paternity leave from his #remote leadership position while kids were on summer break and new life moved into our house. Here is what this meant for us and got me thinking about: – he was able to take the boys on adventurous afternoons and get their energy out while I recovered and rested with little Atlas – we were able to sync as a family and feel connected from day one (and yes…that is important for dads too!!) – we share the love, the new emotional labor of caring for another child, and the commitment to making this family adventure a meaningful one (not exhausting one) for all of us – because I was living with and surrounded by my sister, our best friend and the kids' god father and my husband plus my mum I never had the feeling that I have to toughen up and just do it on my own. Where are all the communities and mama supporters these days? How have we as mums gotten to the point where motherhood is a race to the top rather than a shared vision of raising a village of strong, fun, fulfilled, and connected kids? – have we ever thought about the correlation of postpartum #depression and loneliness? Becoming a mom…no matter whether its for the first, second, or fifth time is a hormonal and physical sensation that should be a) appreciated and b) enjoyed… With my husband at home I feel like I was 100% able to do so. – last but not least: those boys are also my husband's kids. He loves them. He wants to be around them. He wants to make them feel like that we are a strong-rooted family… So why would he not benefit emotionally from this break of everyday work-AND family life and just be a #dad for a moment? ⠀⠀ As an entrepreneurial family, I am shouting this out to all other fellow entrepreneurs thinking about the #mentalhealth of their employees. Be at the forefront of making life possible for your teams- that is how potential and productivity get unleashed” #mytinytribe #baby #mom #digitalnomad

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– Ne samo da joj trebate pomoći da se oporavi, već ćete se i vi vezati uz svoje dijete više nego što možete zamisliti. Žena doji i iako je to za nju prekrasan i ispunjavajući osjećaj, to ipak zna biti iscrpljujuće. Dakle, mijenjajte svaku pelenu koju možete i spriječićete neravnotežu i nezadovoljstvo u vezi. Zapravo, kada se sve prijateljice vaše supruge žale kako su njihovi muževi odsutni i ne podržavaju ih, vaša će se supruga vas hvaliti – naveo je Ted.

Ted je posebno naglasio da je bitno da supruzi svaki muškarac pokaže zahvalnost jednostavnim gestima.

– Napravite joj kafu bez kofeina svako jutro čak i ako joj se kafa često ohladi i čak ako je zaboravi popiti jer je zaspala dok vi vodite djecu u vrtić. Bila je budna cijelu noć hraneći dijete, pa pomozite joj započeti dan na način koji će joj pomoći da se resetuje – naveo je.

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6 years ago I found out I’d be a dad. I was out of shape, gaunt, weak, anxious, losing hair from stress, addicted to caffeine and alcohol. 800+ workouts, 25lbs of muscle, and 3 kids later, here’s what I’ve learned about becoming physically fit for fatherhood: 1. Being physically fit is the greatest gift you can give your kids, your spouse, and yourself. You’ll: – live longer – get sick less – get injured less – have a better mood – have more energy to play and teach and love and protect – be more confident in all areas of life 2. You don’t need to be fit or healthy to get started. You just need to get started. I was in the worst shape of my life and my friends were worried because of how sick and pale I was. I started with at-home 10 minute HIIT workouts. Nothing crazy. No gym. Just start. 3. Working out is a catalyst for better nutrition, sleep, hydration, and everything else. Not the other way around. Without workouts, I always had trouble eating healthy, falling asleep, drinking enough. But with workouts, I wanted to eat/drink/sleep to fuel performance. 4. You don’t need to try to recreate the intensity of college training sessions. Getting a few sets of pushups in with your toddler running around is a victory. So is going for a run with your baby in the stroller. Don’t give up just bc you can’t get 2hrs alone at the gym. 5. You don’t need a gym or fancy equipment. For 4 years I only used body weight, a 24kg kettlebell, and a doorway pullup bar. You also don’t need a lot of space. The size of a small prison cell works. 2 meters by 2 meters. Enough for pushups, burpees, squats, sit-ups, planks, kettlebell swings, lunges, all the basics. 6. Working out with and in front of your children sets an example and helps orient them toward an active lifestyle. My 2 year old has been breaking out pushups, yoga, burpees, and squats since he was 1. He stops whatever he’s doing a few times per day and asks if we want to work out with him. 7. Remember every day how short life is, and how much joy comes from being able to move freely without pain or worry. I want to play, run, surf, skate, box, wrestle, dance, and party with my kids and with my grandkids if I make i

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Naveo je da je bitno podsjetiti suprugu da je ona doslovno superheroj.

– Recite joj da je lijepa i pomozite joj da to vidi u trenucima kada se osjeća nesigurno u svom tijelu. Podsjetite je na trenutke kada je postizala sve svoje ciljeve. Podsjetite je da je superheroj. Ona se samo udebljala 20 kg kako bi vam poklonila dijete koje će vam biti poklon do kraja života. Pomozite joj da prođe kroz probleme sa svojim tijelom i ostanite fokusirani na pozitivan cilj, jedan po jedan dan – naglasio je Ted.

Na kraju je Ted naveo jednu veoma važnu činjenicu, a to je da muškarac uvijek treba biti uz svoju suprugu, piše Brajt Sajd.

– Hormoni su ludi, i prije i nakon poroda. Vaša supruga neće izgledati kao i svaki dan prije, a ponekad će reći stvari koje ne bi rekla. Imajte na umu da je vaš posao biti njen kamen kroz sve ovo, zato budite hrabri i dobri prema njoj i smirite je kad god vidite da je nervozna. Ona će se uskoro vratiti u normalu, a vi želite da vam bude zahvalna što ste je podržavali i voljeli kad ona to nije mogla – dodao je.

Franziska je na suprugovu objavu odgovorila i podijelila nekoliko savjeta.

– Svađa ne mora štetiti vezi, sve dok iz nje možete učiti i rasti. Naravno, ponekad vam stvari mogu izmaći kontroli, ali najbolje što oboje možete učiniti je naučiti lekciju iz ovog iskustva i sljedeći put proći još bolje. Još jedna dobra ideja je razgovarati o važnim temama prije nego što počnete živjeti zajedno. To uključuje sve, od kućnih dužnosti do vaše vizije budućnosti – poručila je.